For the last nine months, I have been weekend mom. Two weekends a month, I would drive 150 miles either on Friday night, or Saturday early morning to spend time with my boys -- quality time. In the beginning, it was awkward. On my first weekend, I let them get as much junk food as they wanted. We all pigged out until we had stomach aches. That was the last time we did that. On numerous occasions, I cried almost the entire drive home. Then, after talking to Iyanla Vanzant, I accepted the new situation, and we settled into a routine.
But, for the past two weeks, I have been summer mom. I am so grateful for the time together. I have tried to give them as much attention as possible. What activities could we do together? We have been to the beach five times, to the pool, out for ice cream, and special breakfast. We played board games, ran through the sprinkler, rode bikes, went to church and to a party. My favorite part is the nightly bedtime stories we share.
But I now miss the life I had as a single woman throughout the week. The guilt is mounting. How selfish I am for desiring to spend time working, or with friends over these beautiful boys that I helped to create. But nevertheless, this is how I feel. I can hardly imagine I am alone in feeling this way.
There has to be a balance between the two lives, so I will take a few days next week to go back to my old life. When I return, I will be refreshed and engaged once again.